Friday, September 25, 2015

WWE Week-End Review

In case you haven't noticed, I got really into wrestling at the beginning of the year, and frankly, I spend way too much time watching the stuff now not to make some work out of it.

RAW 9-21-15

1) They're actually trying to make Big Show look good before his match with Lesnar. If those two have a great match, fine, but I doubt it will be great beyond Brock Lesnar somehow being able to do one of his two moves on Big Show 25 times, who will score absolutely nothing by losing to him. Meanwhile, to build him, they had him beat Cesaro (FUCK. YOU. WWE.) which put Cesaro's loss streak at "zero of the past three" and "hasn't won on PPV in actual years." I can't say it was a huge mistake since they refuse to make Cesaro look good despite spontaneous crowd love for him and his incredible talent, but it really was just fuel on the fire.

2) This Kane thing has me skeptical since we now know they're actually calling it a split personality thing. Could end up being very offensive. Wait, wait a minute, we're just getting word that . . . yup, on SmackDown Jerry "The King of Not Knowing When The Fuck Shut Up" Lawler (he was never a good commentator and you know it, he just got to sit next to JR and scream all the time) just claimed he doesn't think Kane as split-personality and he's just doing it to get under people's skin.

If it results in Kane going full-demon and getting away from the Authority so he can either tag or feud with Taker before Taker's retirement at Wrestlemania XXXII then this will be fine in the long run.

3) John Cena and Seth Rollins could wrestle the main event of every pay-per-view for the rest of time and I will watch. What could've been a total throwaway show of ego by Rollins by trying to get the US title off of Cena turned into 4 matches of pure and absolute gold.

4) Rollins sure has lost quite a bit in the past few days hasn't he? I wonder how much they're going to weaken him as champion considering they just had him beat Sting clean. His title run has been a lot of fun, and now doesn't seem like the time to bring it to an end, especially since the only other name in the picture right now is Kane.

I love Kane. Anyone in their right mind loves at least some of what Kane has done. Kane is not your next WHC.

4) I'm sad that they killed Rollins' chances for being double-champion again so quickly, but to me that says they're either looking to continue the US open challenge (good thing) or they're looking to use it to push someone else in a Cena feud.

NXT 9-23-15

1) Apollo Crews didn't wrestle, but they did book a match for NXT: Respect between him and Tyler Breeze. If you're asking, yes, Apollo Crews not wrestling docks you points.

2) Kana was signed and they're calling her Asuka, that plus the coming debut of Nia Jax means good things for the women's division in Florida, which was looking bleak with Bayley being the only

3) Every chant during any Eva Marie match can be boiled down to "I watch Botchamania and I know everything, and I will never forgive you for how much you used to suck." She's had good matches the past two weeks, and her botch at the finish of last week has a lot more to do with WWE's obnoxious trope of trying to get wrestlers to kick out at 2.999999 seconds rather than just letting them kick out at 2, or even 1. As a side note, Marie, like many other women wrestlers, may be partially selling herself based on her beauty, but can we give her credit in a world filled with Bellas that Eva Marie is trying to look like a sexy adult rather than overgrown cheerleader? There's always been a bad habit of infantilizing the women wrestlers and that doesn't really apply to Marie.

4) I still have no idea what the point of the Dusty Rhodes classic is. I know he meant a lot to everyone down in Florida, but I'm not sure if he has any significant connection to tag wrestling, and now that NXT Tag champions Vaudevillains are out, it's very confusing what they're trying to achieve.

Smackdown! 9-24-15

1) Tag match with Rusev/Owens vs. Ryback/Ziggler was really good. Highlight spot: Ziggler manges to suplex Owens and Rusev and then overselling the shit out of the back pain it caused while making his way to tag Ryback. Crowd popped big time for it. Not exactly a scholar on Dolph Ziggler history but it's kind of astounding this guy isn't one of the company's top faces. Actually, lemme do a bit of research . . . this guy apparently won the WHC twice (before the unification) . . . and one of them was because the title was stripped from Edge by Vickie Guererro because he used the Spear. Say what you will about WWE in 2015, it sure isn't WWE in 2013.

The match exists seemingly to remind you that that awful Rusev vs. Ziggler feud is still happening, despite the fact that Lana is injured. But hey, if they didn't take Ziggler's injury as an indication to kill this thing dead, nothing will stop it until Lana and Rusev are back together . . . who were only broken up seemingly just so this feud could happen. Storytelling, everyone.

2) The main event (Rollins vs. Ambrose) was solid, though (spoilers) it represents Rollins' third loss in 4 days, so with that plus NoC I wonder how much weaker they're going to let him get, the main event title picture is a mess right now given that there's no way Kane actually goes over without going full demon, which would mean Kane would break from The Authority, which would mean going face and aaaaaaaaaggggghhhh modern face/heel logic.

3) The New Day fought Neville and the Lucha Dragons. New Day. Neville. Lucha Dragons. It was good. Neville and Lucha Dragons work well together since Neville is just a British high-flyer anyway, but if they wanna commit to this combo (they also fought the dark match at Night of Champions vs. Stardust and The Ascension, who I also wanna see a lot more of) then holy hell one of those motherfuckers is gonna need to get on the mic at some point, I don't think I've seen Neville on the mic once since he jumped to the main roster from NXT, and that's a shame because they all have incredible potential.

On a separate note: why are the Lucha Dragons basically jobbers now? (I have the same question for The Ascension. I do not have the same question for Los Matadores.) These guys tore it the fuck up in NXT. It doesn't help that they have no characters other than "we're the only cruiserweights left on the roster", especially since the only other story they have is "well we had to do something with SinCara." My friend Ian suggested that maybe they're eventually going to fire SinCara because the name is so tainted at this point and push Kalisto on his own, which is a fine idea, but something makes me doubt that's where they're going with it.

4) Booking a tag titles match for the MSG show makes me think the Dudleys will have to go over (Joey Styles is even going to be there. PLEASE PUT HIM ON COMMENTARY. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD.) That makes me sad, but ultimately it is totally fine as long as The New Day stay in the picture, especially now that it looks like they're trying to put the Prime-Time Players back in it as well. If WWE knows what they're doing, this will eventually result in the match of the year at TLC. Just imagine Titus O'Neil flying off of a ladder and sending Big E through a table. Thinking about that makes me emotional man.

Overall Notes

1) The main event title picture needs someone who isn't Kane, but I doubt this feud is going to last very long. The real question is, who will go up against Rollins? Storyline-wise, no one has really challenged him, but if I had to pick someone I want to see with the belt, it's Ambrose. Safe pick, I realize, but that guys is electric. The only way that won't work is if Daniel Bryan shows back up and smarks DEMAND he become champion.

2) In theory it's really lame that they're playing up Charlotte's relationship with her father instead of letting her be her own person (the Diva's Revolution: we'll get this angle over as long as we remind them that some of these women have familial relations to men!), but also, Ric Flair is someone who could drop dead tomorrow, so it makes sense they're letting him have his moment. If you listen to his podcast at all (which you should, it is frequently hilarious)

3) NXT: Respect is probably going to be crazy good.

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